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Best advice for a friend who is online dating

What Is the Best Way to Give Advice to a Friend?,Is Giving Advice Worth the Effort?

The one thing that people tend to forget to do the most is listen. "It’s so simple," Cherlyn Chong, dating coach for professional women, tells Bustle. "Just listen, and you’ll find out a lot Answer (1 of 20): I have never volunteered advice to anyone in that situation who did not ask for it. I can’t imagine it would be welcome, or heeded. But one friend did confess that she was  · "Being friends means you genuinely like each other, you have seen each other at your best and worst, and you trust each other. This is a really strong foundation for a romantic ... read more

Then, once you have grasped the nature of their predicament and understand what they want to accomplish, you can respond with whatever needs to be said. If a friend asks for help and you have determined that they definitely want guidance, then explain what they need to do, no matter how difficult it is for them to hear it.

That is the only way to give support that will help in the long run. It's best to avoid giving incorrect information. So, only offer your thoughts if you know enough to give meaningful advice on the subject. Be honest about that. Lack of information is one of the most common reasons for making mistakes and not knowing how to get out of a bind.

Therefore, it can be beneficial to seek the help of a professional. In extreme cases, one may be in dire need of counseling to help with severe problems in their life. That is when a true friend will take a step back and suggest a more appropriate alternative to help.

It's crucial to be transparent when advising someone by explaining your reasoning behind it. One needs to offer guidance to see the big picture. When someone decides to do something that's not favorable, ask how they came to that conclusion. That line of questioning could help one see where they are headed. Once that's achieved, provide a plan of action to solve their problem. Then let them make their own decision. Once the above proposals produce a clear vision of what they need to resolve, it may be better to support their choices rather than give specific recommendations.

This could be a tricky situation. If they work things out in the future, it may negatively affect your friendship with that friend. A friend once told me she argued with her husband over finances, and he left her. Since he had threatened her repeatedly, I told her to change the locks and not let him back in. What did she do? She went ahead and informed him that I recommended locking him out. What good did that do? You never know what someone will do with your suggestions.

If their partner has a toxic behavior that is harmful to the relationship, friendly guidance might be helpful. However, consider recommending the proper counselor trained to assist with such matters. Those who repeatedly complain about their lives and awful situation are the same people who fail to work on a solution.

When a friend continually talks your ear off about their problems, ask what they want specifically. Otherwise, the effort may create frustration for you and your friend. When one is in denial, they have difficulty accepting advice even when they ask for help. That statement is meant to wake them up. I also give them the option to come back when they are ready to be led down a more fruitful path. Sometimes they reconsider, especially if something happens that opens their eyes. Some people who need help will outright refuse to accept any proposed solutions.

It will only frustrate our friends and waste our time. These people get frustrated when friends try to help because they have unresolved emotional issues that cause them to stay in the same situation. I have had to walk away several times when a friend would ask for advice. I knew they were in denial. They argued with all the solutions I would offer.

Unfortunately, I would later discover that they made things worse. That was their choice. There is nothing we can do about it. Most of all, are they looking for guidance or just someone to assure them that they are doing the right thing? They make excuses for their predicament, and they let it continue to affect their quality of life.

They usually will continue to keep their head buried in the sand no matter what one tries to tell them. A friend I was trying to help once repeatedly did the complete opposite and got herself into more or a bind. For that reason, you need to keep an open mind while following through with guidance and consider that you might be wasting your time.

There might be a possibility that people will pick sides if things end between you two. Having a best friend means always having someone to lean on when you are going through challenging or frustrating times. But what happens when your best friend becomes your significant other? Although you will still be able to vent to them about some things, all the frustrating moments that you have with them will probably have to be discussed with someone else.

Other friendships might become more important than before as a means of support and guidance. In every friendship, there is often healthy space between you. With a romantic relationship, there can be a lot more work that goes into spending quality time spent together. This quality time may even alter the way that you see your best friend, causing you to see them differently than before. Experiencing decreased attraction may be temporary, or it may point to a larger issue.

So, is dating your best friend a good idea? The truth is that it all depends on your situation. If you both feel the same way towards each other, and you think that the bond is strong enough to move forward, then the relationship might be worth a try. Partnering with someone romantically is an exciting move that can add to your overall happiness and satisfaction.

Many people have been through this situation and can offer helpful advice and support. recently ended, and could you use some help coping? BetterHelp is an online counseling platform dedicated to providing affordable and convenient online counseling for those who need it. If you think you could benefit from this, you can sign up to connect with the right online counselor that works best for you. A study from found that couples who received relationship education through therapy were able to feel positive effects for up to four years.

The couples received tools to express themselves and see each other honestly. You and your therapist can work together to define your values, your desires and how to navigate transitioning this relationship.

Online therapy might even be better as you consider starting this new relationship. As your best friend adds on a new role in your life, you may find another friendly, trustworthy voice helps you feel supported and keep your head clear. Online counseling means access to a therapist when you need it. You can chat in real time with messages or send journal entries to your counselor so they can keep tabs on how things are going.

It may help you feel someone is actively always on your side. Online therapy also provides scheduling flexibility, letting you spend more time with your best friend to get the ball rolling. He's not only provided me support but insight and encouragement to let me know I'm on a good path to self improvement and discovery. Furthermore, Mark has provided me valuable insight on my romantic relationship, specifically with learning more about the relationship dynamics and how to build a stronger, healthier relationship.

At one point, I decided to try BetterHelp. My counselor Dr. Brewer helped me to see some things I couldn't on my own and encouraged me to prioritize myself. It was a huge help for me at that point, which led to the decisions I am happy about. Dating is a wonderful way to connect with another person very meaningfully. While there are many important factors to consider, honoring the capacity you have for love by sharing it with someone is a beautiful way to express yourself.

When you find that a friend with whom you are close becomes romantically attractive, it may be a positive step to change the nature of your relationship. The guidance you need for a healthy relationship with your best friend is right around the corner. Take the first step today.

Advice Home. Is Dating Your Best Friend A Good Idea? By Joy Youell Updated August 19, Previous Article. What Is Casual Dating? Next Article. Online Dating: The Different Types And What To Expect. The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional.

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I study emotional responses in relationships and write about them to help others with their well-being and improve their self-awareness. When friends ask for advice, they may not specifically want guidance. Often, they need someone to listen and be supportive.

Unfortunately, some people have difficulty accepting advice. They may be in denial and refuse any suggestions, even when they had asked for help. If your friend is not ready to accept advice, it's best to avoid getting involved. The first thing I do is ask if they indeed want help. Some people would rather have a limited life with limited success and little happiness. They allow troubling episodes in life to worsen. Giving advice starts with active listening.

Explain that you need to know what they want. That will help them feel that you are genuinely listening and trying to help. The answers you get from these questions could make a big difference in the advice you decide to give. When you do that right, they will appreciate you for it and recognize the value of your assistance. They already know what they did wrong.

Provide a view of the future so they have something concrete to envision. Art Markman, a Ph. who writes for Psychology Today , recommends giving your friend information they might have overlooked. It helps to provide alternative options to select without giving your viewpoint on either option.

That is known as "decision support," which guides someone in making their own choice. The trick of making your friend aware of available options allows them to think for themselves and make their own decisions. We should never give up the ability to hear where they are coming from. You need to listen and show understanding. Then, once you have grasped the nature of their predicament and understand what they want to accomplish, you can respond with whatever needs to be said.

If a friend asks for help and you have determined that they definitely want guidance, then explain what they need to do, no matter how difficult it is for them to hear it.

That is the only way to give support that will help in the long run. It's best to avoid giving incorrect information. So, only offer your thoughts if you know enough to give meaningful advice on the subject. Be honest about that. Lack of information is one of the most common reasons for making mistakes and not knowing how to get out of a bind. Therefore, it can be beneficial to seek the help of a professional.

In extreme cases, one may be in dire need of counseling to help with severe problems in their life. That is when a true friend will take a step back and suggest a more appropriate alternative to help. It's crucial to be transparent when advising someone by explaining your reasoning behind it. One needs to offer guidance to see the big picture. When someone decides to do something that's not favorable, ask how they came to that conclusion.

That line of questioning could help one see where they are headed. Once that's achieved, provide a plan of action to solve their problem. Then let them make their own decision. Once the above proposals produce a clear vision of what they need to resolve, it may be better to support their choices rather than give specific recommendations.

This could be a tricky situation. If they work things out in the future, it may negatively affect your friendship with that friend. A friend once told me she argued with her husband over finances, and he left her. Since he had threatened her repeatedly, I told her to change the locks and not let him back in. What did she do? She went ahead and informed him that I recommended locking him out. What good did that do?

You never know what someone will do with your suggestions. If their partner has a toxic behavior that is harmful to the relationship, friendly guidance might be helpful. However, consider recommending the proper counselor trained to assist with such matters. Those who repeatedly complain about their lives and awful situation are the same people who fail to work on a solution. When a friend continually talks your ear off about their problems, ask what they want specifically. Otherwise, the effort may create frustration for you and your friend.

When one is in denial, they have difficulty accepting advice even when they ask for help. That statement is meant to wake them up. I also give them the option to come back when they are ready to be led down a more fruitful path. Sometimes they reconsider, especially if something happens that opens their eyes. Some people who need help will outright refuse to accept any proposed solutions. It will only frustrate our friends and waste our time.

These people get frustrated when friends try to help because they have unresolved emotional issues that cause them to stay in the same situation. I have had to walk away several times when a friend would ask for advice. I knew they were in denial. They argued with all the solutions I would offer. Unfortunately, I would later discover that they made things worse.

That was their choice. There is nothing we can do about it. Most of all, are they looking for guidance or just someone to assure them that they are doing the right thing?

They make excuses for their predicament, and they let it continue to affect their quality of life. They usually will continue to keep their head buried in the sand no matter what one tries to tell them. A friend I was trying to help once repeatedly did the complete opposite and got herself into more or a bind. For that reason, you need to keep an open mind while following through with guidance and consider that you might be wasting your time.

A mentor or life counselor with the qualifications to give motivational therapy to lead one in the right direction might be better in some instances where a friend may not be the best suited. We might not even be qualified to do it, even when we think we know the answers. Physical Intimacy. Attracting a Mate. Date Ideas. Online Dating. Personality Type. Relationship Problems. Relationship Advice. Single Life. Read More From Pairedlife. Managing the Challenging Person: Tips and Tricks.

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Online Dating Tips For Success — How To Have A Perfect Date?,Several Pointers on the Best Way to Give Advice

 · "Being friends means you genuinely like each other, you have seen each other at your best and worst, and you trust each other. This is a really strong foundation for a romantic The one thing that people tend to forget to do the most is listen. "It’s so simple," Cherlyn Chong, dating coach for professional women, tells Bustle. "Just listen, and you’ll find out a lot Answer (1 of 20): I have never volunteered advice to anyone in that situation who did not ask for it. I can’t imagine it would be welcome, or heeded. But one friend did confess that she was ... read more

So, sit back, relax, and enjoy! If your friends and family are already familiar with your best friend, you not only get to skip that step, but you might feel like your support network is harmonious. By princesswithapen Sep 14, Comment. Therefore, it can be beneficial to seek the help of a professional. If the romantic element of your relationship ends, it is a possibility that friendship will be altered or halted. Advice Home. Introducing a new romantic interest to your loved ones can be a tenuous or nerve-racking experience.

Balancing your feelings and theirs will help you make a sustainable, fair decision when deciding on whether to take the friendship further. Some people would rather have a limited life with limited success and little happiness. Online Dating. recently ended, and could you use some help coping? So, only offer your thoughts if you know enough to give meaningful advice on the subject.

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